#19
[Zion Canyon, Utha]
19. Fire that Rekindled – Rebuilding
It must have been around 1995 that Ilchi Lee came to America again. He took over the center that Dong Won Kang was managing and he began over again. In the beginning, he had a few masters come from South Korea. Then he called for me to come to America again. That was in 1996.
All the difficulties that I experienced in the beginning had begun again. The management situation was either barely sustaining or at a deficit. As soon as I arrived, he said for me to pay back the debt now. For a while, with the deterioration of management, it was operating with debts from here and there. Accounting was not properly recorded, and the receipts were not properly saved either. It was operating with the sale of books and uniforms (Do-bok), and since the principal was not paid, expenses for this and that all remained as debts.
The programs were being barely maintained with regular training classes and part healing (hwal-gong) sessions. Income was limited and the members were cared for with healings. And yet, centers began to increase one by one. The second pioneering of America had fully begun. Now, even if I wanted to step back, I could not. It is because Ilchi Lee had no intention of drawing back now. Now it had to be made successful till the end. Visa issues and the supply of masters, and many other difficult administrative problems that occur in the process of settling in the starting of a business in America had to be experienced again. To begin anew without any foundation is anguish.
There were many difficulties that were waiting. When one was resolved, another one arose, and another, seemingly without end. Despite these difficulties, and without stopping, the centers expanded to New Jersey, New York, Long Island, Los Angeles, Washington DC, Boston, Chicago, Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, San Francisco, Seattle, and to Canada.
In the beginning, we began gathering members in the apartments, and when more members gathered, funds were saved and then we rented an office and began. Just like the plan that Ilchi Lee had used, when an apartment was rented, an open public lecture was done first, then we would gather the members. To begin, funds were starting from $3000 and the maximum that could be used was $5000. Two months of apartment rent, telephone installation fee, and a one time advertisement fee were all there was. It was a situation, beginning with no business sign display and without anything. Like affiliating in alliance with an existing center, it began when the location and its target area were decided. Then, one master would go there and rent an apartment. Up until this time, centers were operating only for the Koreans in Korean.
As for English speaking members, there were only one to two members per center who came occasionally out of curiosity. They were members who quietly trained even though it was in Korean. It was truly an odd thing. For them to come and train even though it was in Korean was as if an English speaking member was coming and training in South Korea. It was because the masters could not speak English well and they were having difficulties with barely adjusting to America. But the most important thing was fear. They could not do it because of the fear of the new unfamiliar subjects and of the new unknown culture.
#18
[Byuk Woon, Seung Bea Chun in U.K.]
18. Returning of Kindling – Rekindling the Fire from the Ashes
All of our four centers, between three in Philadelphia and one in Los Angeles, had now closed. Nowhere could I see any hope. But, even though the heavens fall, there is hope.
In spite of misfortune there was new hope, in the form of a member named Dong Won Kang, who was training in Philadelphia, and wanted to continue training when the Philadelphia center closed. So he went to the center in Los Angeles, continued training and developed a new dream.
I did not know at the time that this would be the opportunity for the rekindling. When the center in Los Angeles closed, Dong Won Kang went to the New Jersey/New York area and opened a new center.
He contacted me to ask how to manage and teach the class. Once again, a connection was formed for a comeback. Since there wasn’t any master that could be sent right away, I told him that for the time being, he was to teach from what he had learned when he was a member.
Because he had trained with a commitment in his heart for a long time, even though in the beginning he was a bit lost, little by little he found stability and he managed in his own way.
Around that time, many changes occurred in South Korea. In South Korea, Ilchi Lee stepped back from his position and decided to entrust the management to his students. All the things that he had created up until now he turned over and entrusted to his students. It was a great occurrence at that time. For Dahnhak, it was time of the greatest anguish, but it was also the rising of a second historical period.
As a second pioneering, Ilchi Lee was set to go to America. There is no doubt that he had come for globalization and internationalization. This time, his heart and mind were set to do it himself. He resolved visa issues and all other matters, and came alone. Afterwards, he came with his whole family, which seemed as though it meant that he was determined not to return.
This is an example that students of Ilchi Lee should follow. If he was in South Korea, he would be respected while living in comfort without any worries, but he refused all of it and instead chose and walked a new path of adversity. In these days, masters tend to only choose to do things that are comfortable and easy, popular and honorable, and recognizable. Like from the earlier days, humility is truly needed. Like the words from Ilchi Lee, “It is ok to be whatever, wherever, and whenever.” It is something that the students need to rethink about. Ilchi Lee’s determination and mindset to not to return should not be forgotten. Those masters who are in America, Canada, Japan, England, etc., anywhere in the new pioneering area shall take this to heart. There should be a determination and mindset that if it is failed here there isn’t anywhere else that one can go to. If you are simply still in one place, nothing will be accomplished on its own.
#17
[Earth Hall in Sedona Mago Retreat Center]
17. Fire that Vanished – Center that Turned into Ashes
Due to visa problems, after I went back to South Korea, those remaining behind in America were Master Yong Soo Moon in Philadelphia and Master Hyun Mook Choi in Los Angeles. They diligently managed things well.
During the six to twelve months that I was gone from America, many occurrences took place. While staying in South Korea, there were incidents that could not be solved through phone calls. In Philadelphia, the work that was being done together between myself and Yong Soo Moon, was now being done alone, and he could not take care of all that work by himself. Meanwhile, since it was a situation where new masters could not be supplemented, that energy became weaker and at last became extinguished.
And to make matters worse, in the following year damage was done due to the African American riot in Los Angeles. Because the center was near the Korean town in Los Angeles, the damage was made. Even in the walls on the outside of the center, there were bullet holes. Windows were shattered, and even though it was in a mess, it was a relief that there wasn’t anything to take.
The center was closed temporarily until it became quiet again in the neighborhood. When it was reopened, for a while members were still afraid and could not come.
Even though we went through lots of hardship, up until this time it could be tolerated and endured. However, in an unexpected place, another incident took place. Master Hyun Mook Choi gave a healing to a female member early in the morning and was coming out of the room, when a second member saw the scene. The second member promoted the scandal that they slept together. This became a rumor; and even when he tried to have it under control, it was not working. Eventually, Master Hyun Mook Choi bled his finger and wrote the words “I love you Seseungnim” on the bathroom walls and disappeared. He did this because he felt it was his fault, and it was a situation where he could no longer manage the center, so he left for his home in Canada. I can sufficiently understand how he must have felt to leave like this without being able to take care of the after effects.
I can clearly see the incident of a young master who did not know how to take care of the matter, and was innocently thrown into confusion. Even now, he is probably living somewhere in Canada as an artist and a painter. Someday I wish to see him again and talk about the old days. Like this, because of the scandal with the female member, the center closed.
This kind of misunderstanding and rumor occurs a lot even now, and it can occur whenever and wherever. Even though the work is to benefit others, if not done properly, the fact that it can bring about negative results makes me cautious. In the helping of one another, I would like it to be accomplished within the trust of each other. When centers close, many people who train and benefit from the center are affected. This kind of thing is truly heartbreaking. When the many things that were created with tremendous effort are destroyed, once again lots of painstaking tears of energy need to be poured in and be created anew.
The words and behavior of both parties must be cautious so that there won’t be a misunderstanding…… Hap Shim Dae Do (when you focus your mind, the great Tao will prevail)
Like this, with visa problems and scandal issues, the center that was created with great efforts was destroyed.
#16
[Moon in Sedona]
16. Returning of the Fire
- Returning Home, Returning due to Visa problems
It was a time when the pioneering that began with Ilchi Lee’s open public lecture, was holding a certain place and moving forward, but an unexpected event took place. It had been over five months since coming to America, and it was almost becoming six months.
One day, the acting Jiwonjangnim asked about my visa. When I asked what a visa was, he said “Wasn’t there something that was stamped by immigration when you entered America?” But no matter how much I thought about it, I did not have any memory of going to a place like immigration. So when I said I have never gone to immigration, he asked to see my passport. When I showed him my passport, he asked “Didn’t you see someone stamping a small piece of paper on your passport when you entered America?”
I did not have any memory of it, but I remember taking off a piece of strange paper that was stapled on and placing it in a book. So hurriedly I looked for it; and fortunately it was there. So I said “Is it this that you are talking about?” Then, he looked at it carefully, and he said that I received a six months permit; and since I entered America on May 24th, I had only 10 days remaining before I needed to go back to South Korea and then come back, or get married here, or we needed to take measures for me to stay.
When I was coming to America, I came without much thought. Even though I obtained a visa, I really did not at all realize what a visa was, why it was needed, and when and where it was used. Even when getting off the plane and passing through customs, I did not realize that it was the immigration. Like that, whether the visa expiration date is stamped or not, I wouldn’t have had the interest in looking for it.
With such an unexpected event, I had to prepare in a great hurry to return to South Korea. All the things that I was working hard on were rearranged, and Master Yong Soo Moon took over in place of me. Korean and English speaking members all gathered and they gave a going away party for me. I gave many people greetings of gratitude, and asked them to take care of the remaining work. Then, on the December 23rd flight, I returned back to South Korea.
#15
[ The poster of Mago's Soul Training]
(Mago = Mother Earth)
15. Response to the Flame – English Speaking Members’ Initial Response
In the beginning, when the training was over and I asked, “How do you feel? How is your condition?” they would say “so, so.” I did not understand what it meant. Afterwards, when I asked Master Bong Pil Yang, it meant that it was not that great. Like that, days passed. Little by little time had passed and again I asked. They said “good.” I understood the word “good” meant something that is really good, but even this meant “just good.”
And, about one month had passed. When I asked again, then, they said “very good, so very good.” Two months had passed. They said, “wonderful, won..derful, very…so…much wonderful.” Now, they are saying that they are greatly satisfied. Like this, training for the English speaking members had begun.
Members increased, and through an introduction from Master Bong Pil Yang, a company president, a company chairperson, a police chief, a state senator, a congressman, a local newspaper reporter, a magazine reporter, etc., they showed their interest and began to attend.
Among them, there was a company chairperson and a person who was working as a director. They said that they were so tense and had such a feeling of being under pressure before and during a meeting, that they always had a little drink or used some type of drugs to relax the tension and release the feeling of being under pressure. However, after understanding the energy and doing the training, those tense feelings or pressure disappeared, and they were very thankful to have the meetings joyfully with so much ease in a relaxed state.
Afterwards, a newspaper reporter covered the story, and the article was in the newspaper. All day long many phone calls came in. Here, another problem arose because I could not speak English. A phone call can’t be done by looking at a person’s face; it’s a consultation without looking at a person’s face. I was quite at a loss, so I asked Master Bong Pil Yang to search among the Tae Kwon Do members who could do the phone consultations in English and have them do it.
In that area, it had become the subject of a new interest. With such a positive response for the first training class for the English speakers, I gained confidence. Without having any materials that are in English, it was truly creating from a place where there was nothing into something. Now, even though I could not speak English well, I wasn’t afraid. It is because, Cosmic-energy (Chun-ji-ki-un) and Cosmic-mind (Chun-ji-ma-um) are not communicated through words, but through feeling and experience. Anyone can do it if there is a know-how in communicating them, any time and any place, and to anyone.
Then changes will naturally occur which lead to completion within oneself, and one comes to have a firm belief in that truth.
#14
[ a picture from Chun Myung Training in Sedona Mago Retreat Center]
14. Fire that is Different in Color
– While Looking at the New Fire
– Hill after Hill to Climb and River after River to Cross
Until now, training was taught mainly with motions that could be seen. But now, I had to teach breathing method, Jigam, and DahnMu. These are not things that are based on motion. They are trainings that through awaken the inner senses through feeling energy. Because they are things that cannot be seen, guidance with words is important. But I could not continuously ask Master Bong Pil Yang (the Tae Kwan Do Master) for translation, so, with learning simple English words, I decided to teach the class. Of course, for the important parts, for about ten minutes beforehand it was translated and explained.
First, Jigam training was done. The first words that I said were, “hands up.” Secondly, it was “concentration in your hands.” Thirdly, it was “magnetic feel and electric feel, warm.” Next, it was “open, close.” After that, it was “slowly, speedily.” After that, it was “more and more, maximum.” After that, it was “moving.” After that, it was “wrist, ankle, shoulder, and your body, whole body.” After that, it was “free moving.” Then, afterwards, members ride the flow of the energy and are freely able to move. When Jigam and DahnMu are finished, and they are doing partner sharing, they share among themselves about their feelings. Although I cannot understand English, just looking at the facial expressions and the way they are while training, I can see what kind of feelings and changes are occurring internally, so, I can just ask “How do you feel?” Then, “I understand. Do you understand? Make sense?” and then the training is over.
For breathing exercise, since my English was insufficient, I would lie side by side, and I would place my hand on the member’s dahnjon and the member’s hand on my dahnjon, then I would say “follow me.” In addition, I would say “inhale and exhale; breathe in, exhale; breathe in slowly, holding, expanding, and exhale, relax, repeat.”
Next, is haeng-gong. Haeng-gong has movements, so it is simple, and it would be done by saying “haeng-gong position one…, two…, three…, four…. In the beginning, my pronunciation was poor, and even though the members could not understand it well, it quickly became better. Although, my English was not easy to understand, I would like to thank the members and Master Bong Pil Yang for being patient and persevering.
#13
[a bird shape cloud in Sedona, AZ]
13. A New Fire – Beginning to Teach Classes for the English Speaking Members
Language is different, culture is different, habits are different, and race and color of the skin are different; they were all strange and none of it was familiar. When trying to communicate to these people, the first problem that I faced was language. How can I solve this problem?
I could not speak any English at all. It was merely what I learned in school, which was at the level of “I am a boy. You are a student.” I only saw it in the books, and I was dozing off when the teacher was teaching, so I was in a state where I did not know any English at all. At that time, for me, there wasn’t any opportunity to listen to it. Nowadays, although common things like tapes, CD’s, and internet are everywhere, during the time when I was a student, even cassette tapes were scarce.
It is because, for my whole life, I lived without thinking that I would be able to go to America. I lived with the thought, that there was no relation between America and me. It was a country and language I needed to know only to take exams and receive grades.
Now, members were gathered, and there was only one week left before starting the first class. Night and day, I had to find a way as to how I would proceed. The last thoughts were, through words it cannot be done. Since, it was not like I could speak English in one week, so for one hour before the class, I would set up a training program and let them know in advance, what and how it is done, this training’s purpose, significance, benefits, etc. I spoke Korean, and guided them to just look at the motions I made and follow them.
For the explanation before the class, I asked the Tae Kwon Do Master to do the translation. Since, there are motions for Do-In exercise, and the members were already using phrases in Korean for sequences and simple motions during Tae Kwon Do, they understood. It was fortunate that the Tae Kwon Do Master had already taught them Korean, and I am truly grateful.
After teaching a couple of times like such, members now began to understand. Since simple Korean words were already being used at the Tae Kwon Do training hall, I think it was a bit easier.
But, there was something lacking and incomplete about it. The parts with motions, they could observe and follow, but for the parts with no motions, without words it could not be done. Our training has motions, but in fact, there are much more important parts that are done internally where members needed to be focused. Therefore, even though I could not speak English in sentences, I thought that I should at least memorize the words. So I began to memorize them. I completely wrote down all the words that are used in Dahnhak. I thought about what kind of words were being used a lot one after another, wrote them down and memorized them.
#12
12. Spreading fire – Fire that transcends nationality and language
Branching out to the English speakers
Through the home visits like these, many different paths were opened. While the acting headmaster, general affairs manager, etc., and lots of people were introducing here and there, there is a person that I met. He is Bong Pil Yang Tai Kwon Do Master. While searching for a training hall in various places, I came to know him. Since meeting with Master Bong Pil Yang, the branching out to the English speakers in full scale had begun. He was operating a Tae Kwon Do training hall a little farther away from the center that I was staying in. Therefore, only two days on Saturdays and Sundays were in operation.
On Saturday evenings, I slept in Master Yang’s home. It was difficult to go back and forth from where I was, and Master Yang had a deep interest in the training and enjoyed the training very much. Already he had a deep understanding of Buddhism, and he understood this training at first as one of the training methods of Buddhism. Of course, later, he realized the truth that it was a traditional Korean training method. When we met, with talking about training and doing the training, we stayed up all night.
At that time, as a father to a little baby, while devotionally operating the Tae Kwon Do training hall, he was gaining lots of popularity and respect in his community, and connected Philadelphia and South Korea by various means. Businessmen, politicians, sports players, and others, seeing him living so devotionally and passionately, felt inspired and moved. At this training hall, Master Yang began with focusing first on the Tae Kwon Do masters, and after it had settled a little, he introduced the training to their families, relatives, friends, etc.
#11
11. Light brightens families – Home visits
Until meeting and having these positive relationships with many people like these, there were lots of tribulations, and also many joyful and beautiful stories as well. Usually, with teaching class, individual consultation and healing, etc., it was just so hectic and busy that even if I had ten bodies, it would have been insufficient.
On Saturdays and Sundays, I visited the members’ homes one after another, had lunch and dinner, and trained and lectured on principles. With the members’ families, nearby relatives, friends, and neighbors, everyone gathered and it was a day for Chunjikiun celebration.
Since I had become a master, it was a period of time where I felt the most joy. Nowadays, this kind of culture and tradition does not exist. Only at this one time, this kind of culture formed. Members wanted to invite me before other members did. If I cannot go, they became disappointed and sad. Therefore, in one day I had to go to two homes, one for lunch and another for dinner. There were times when the car broke down and I could not go. Then the police would be called and many times I would go with the police car.
At this time, I was able to see that in everyone’s true nature, it is filled full of transcending love. Everyone did it together with one mind/heart and one purpose. Race, culture, religion, ideology, philosophy, nationality, etc., were all transcended; and there formed a closely knit bonding, like a family.
#10
10. People who kindled the fire – Three families’ torchlight
For the official center to be opened like this was due to three people who were like the torchlight. No matter who says anything, that first person is Byum Woon Lee and his wife. Because, with their far reaching great force, they invited us and allowed us to use the small space in his office; therefore we were able to begin. Both the businessman and his wife were truly generous and warm-hearted people. Despite our immature ways, I cannot forget how they looked after us without saying anything. Seventeen years later, thinking about it now, I am ashamed and regretful of so many immature ways we acted. Never will I forget; and I give my gratitude.
Secondly, is Han Gu Ryu, acting Jiwonjangnim, and his wife. He enrolled as the first training member, and in order to find a new space, he searched and under his name he drew up a contract. To trust a stranger to do all that, must not have been an easy thing to do. Additionally, he found and finalized the contract for one bedroom with living room in a senior apartment for me to live in, and he provided a bed, bedding, and a few housewares. He provided a temporary place for me to live in; and to see if there was anything that was inconvenient, he visited frequently and cared for me. It was a convenient place for me, without having a car.
When due to overworking I became ill., when I collapsed he took me over to his home, and for three days and nights, his wife warmly cared for me, which is also something that I cannot forget.
Lastly, there is Won Yong Park, general affairs manager, and his wife. He thoroughly attended to all the great and small matters personally, listened to the members’ many suggestions, consulted with me, and then preceded with the adjustments. There must have been many troubling incidents that arose, but he took care of the matters without any difficulty; and for everyone to get along with each other, as an intermediary he played such a remarkably harmonious role. Also, when the center training was finished, he always came to the restaurant together with me and bought me dinner, then drove me to my apartment. After coming from work, even though he must have been very tired, without showing any discontent, he looked after us happily speaking of joyful stories. Without having a car, lacking spare time and money, I was unable to eat on time, and often missed meals and my health suffered. For these reasons, his generosity is something that I cannot forget. He was like a kind and generous uncle from a hometown.
In addition, there is one more person named Bong Joon Kim, the businessman who was in the clothing business. The business was successful, but it was at a time where it was experiencing difficulties. Even in the midst of that difficulty, he offered a car. It was a Buick, as I remember. It was an old used car that would not start easily and often stopped while I was driving it which caused me some troubling dilemmas. Still, with the help of this car, I was able to do many things. Also, I would like to give my gratitude to him.
In addition to them, many members, in large and small ways, took the initiative and gave an example to others, and assisted. Because they all helped joyfully, Dahnhak exists in America now; and I do not forget that fact.