My Life & My Existence - Who am I?

5. Inevitable practice – beginning practice after a long wandering

[a Juniper Tree in Sedona Ilchi Meditation Center]

While searching for answers, he was reminded of Dahn-jon breathing (lower abdomen energy breathing)  which he had read about in a small introductory book of Buddhism. He decided to try it because he thought he could do it by himself.  It was not as easy to do as described in the book. The two-page long explanation was very simple, but it was difficult to do. It was not easy to do the breath work with a relaxed  focused mind.  He forced himself to do it and sometimes he tried to hold his breath for too long a time. Then he had a dim consciousness and felt dizzy.  Sometimes he breathed in fully and pushed out with too much power before he breathed out. Then he felt his belly was very tight and painful; and sometimes he felt like he had hernia and his anus bled. He had serious constipation or diarrhea, and headache; and he got flu-like symptoms.  He felt like he could die if he kept trying this.  So he gave this up, thinking this was not something he could do.  He felt like he could die.  So he thought of another way. “First I should control my mind. Without controlling my mind, any other things will be the same.” Thinking how he could control his mind, he read again Ban Ya Shim Kyung, the Buddhist book. He understood Ban Ya Shim Kyung as words to brighten the mind. His family believed in Buddhism so it wasn’t difficult to find that kind of book around.