My Life & My Existence - Who am I?

6. Full Scale Practice: Ji-Gam, Jo-Shik, Kum-Chok

  [Tao Tower, Sedona Ilchi Meditation Center]

Just reading a book didn’t help him at all. He realized that he had to find out the real meaning in it first by doing real action which related to changing his being so he could feel the meaning of the book. Because he couldn’t understand the contents and real meaning of the book, there was no way for him to proceed except to memorize it. It was written in Chinese characters that were too difficult to translate. In order to try to understand the Buddhist scripture (the Ban Ya Shim Kyung) he did his best to memorize it, while walking on the street, working at his office, even while he had his resting time. Sometimes he felt that his focus came comfortably and naturally and then he felt the meaning of the words.  That made him  have a desire to know the meaning of concepts  in the Ban Ya Shim Kyung. Such as “that which has no eyes, ears, mouth, tongue, body, not even consciousness (Mu-An, Yi, Bi, Seol, Sin, Eui)? It was so hard to understand terms like as “Hwa Du”. Because it was said “there is nothing”, he tried not to respond anything as though he had no eyes or ears even though he had them.
Even though he had a nose, tongue, body, consciousness (thought, imagine, memories, etc.) he decided not to respond anything. It was hard to do it at first because of his habit that automatically responded to outer phenomenon. He made his response to outer stimuli as minimal as possible, and focused on his inner side.
Gradually, every sound was faded and he felt something inside was starting to gather toward an inner place. He continued that wandering which his mind had been doing. Since with drawing his senses, he looked into the Ban Ya Shim Kyung more actively. There was a part in the book about “no color, sound, smell, taste, touch, mind.(Mu Saek Sung Hyang Mi Chok Bub)” And he realized the connection between that concept and the concept of “no eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, consciousness (Mu Ahn Yi Bi Sul Shin Eui). There was no color without eyes, no sound without ears, no smell without nose, no taste without tongue, no touch without body. That meant there was no mind without consciousness. It was Kum-Chok practice in Dahnhak words (the practice of “withdrawing one’s senses from the outer world). It was really marvelous and exciting. It felt like he had a clue for his studying. For more actual active practice he made a specific day like ‘The day for never being angry’ and to try not to be angry whatever happened. He also made ‘The day for never being sad and to try not to be sad whatever happened. That was the beginning of releasing emotions, such as fear and hate. It was Ji-Gam practice in Dahn hak words(the practice of stopping emotions). If, for example he made a day which is the joyful day, it had to joyful all day long whatever happened. It didn’t go well at first, but he continued. Some days it worked well, but others he couldn’t endure very well. Overall, days worked well, gave him good focus and made his mind very peaceful. But it was so hard when he couldn’t catch his mind struggling. 1 year after he began to this practice, many changes had occurred in. Not only was his mind transformed, but his senses were renewed completely through many energy phenomenon. Even his physical body was changed completely. Everything had become free and peaceful. His mind was full of joy and peace. There was no reason or condition. It was just good as it was. All his prior questions, agonies, struggles and wanderings of his mind had melted away.